Part of having a healthy and fulfilling sex life is learning how to masturbate. There is no right or wrong way to self-pleasure, but there are plenty of tips and tricks your can try to get the most bang for your buck. Dive into our 16 favorite masturbation tips and give yourself the ride of your life!
The Many Benefits of Masturbation
Masturbation doesn’t just give you sexual pleasure – it has several health benefits as well. Although our bodies are sensitive during menstruation, masturbation can relieve period cramps and muscle aches. You may also have better orgasms while on your period because your body experiences increased blood flow and circulation during this time.
Another less-known benefit of masturbation is that it strengthens your body. When you play with yourself, muscles within your pelvic floor contract and spasm as you experience pleasurable sensations. Ultimately, this helps tone your pelvic floor and helps prevent incontinence.
Self-pleasuring goes beyond improving your physical health. If you’re feeling frustrated or pent-up, masturbation is also a great way to alleviate stress. When you orgasm, it triggers an endorphin rush that gives you a sense of calm as you come down. Because these endorphins are linked with relaxation, masturbation also fights insomnia and can be part of a healthy bedtime routine – as long as you have enough privacy.
Finally, studies have shown a connection between masturbation and positive body image. Women are taught from a young age that our body really isn’t ours. We learn that our worth is measured by our attractiveness, our modesty, and our sensibility. We’re supposed to “save” sex for our husbands, and if we dare seek pleasure for ourselves, we lose value. Female masturbation puts the power back in our hands, literally and metaphorically. Our bodies and our pleasure belong to us, and we cannot help but love ourselves more as we provide our own sexual stimulation.
As you can see, masturbation goes beyond just feeling good. Let’s dive into our masturbation tips.
1. Set the Mood Before You Masturbate
Your environment plays a crucial role in your masturbation session. Dim the lights, light a few candles, and play some music that makes you feel sexy. Get comfy on your bed or couch and make sure you’re in a space where you won’t be interrupted. For the utmost privacy, lock your doors and draw your blinds. Even if the chances of being walked in on are slim, you don’t want to spend your time worrying instead of focusing on the task at hand. Once you’ve set the stage, let your imagination run wild and your hands will do the rest.
2. Take the Time to Explore
There’s nothing wrong with a good quickie, but it’s important to give yourself time to explore your body. Many women struggle to reach orgasm because there is too much pressure to finish quickly and easily. Sometimes we place that expectation on ourselves, but too often our partners add to our anxieties when they hurry us along. Not only should you have an attentive and caring partner during sex, but you must be that person for yourself. Let yourself come to orgasm naturally – whether it takes two minutes or an hour.
3. Touch Your Clit
It’s no secret that female masturbation isn’t always straightforward. Over 80% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, but finding and playing with your clit takes a bit of maneuvering.
Your clit is located at the juncture between your inner lips, (the labia minora) right above the vaginal opening. It is covered by the clitoral hood. You can pull the hood back to touch your clit directly, although some women find this to be overstimulating. Play around with different pressures and patterns to figure out if you like a firmer hand or a barely-there touch. Finger your clit directly or press the palm of your hand to your vulva for a different feel.
4. Thrust your fingers
Pairing vaginal stimulation with solo sex can give you a more pleasurable experience. Thrusting your fingers inside yourself can simulate partnered sex and create a “full” feeling that many women aim for.
First, make sure you are wet enough, then lightly finger your vaginal opening. Insert your fingers and slowly move in and out. Feel along the ridges of your vaginal wall, testing to see which areas are more sensitive. If the sensation is uncomfortable, try using only one finger. Don’t be afraid to change it up! Your middle fingers will feel differently than your pointer.
5. Find Your G-Spot
The next step in reaching orgasmic bliss is to find your G-spot. The Granfenberg spot (G-spot) is part of the clitoral network and is found on the vaginal wall closest to your belly button.
To see if your G-spot gives you pleasure, gently insert your finger two inches into your vagina and curl it toward yourself in a “come here” motion.
Although some individuals have (wrongly) roped the G-spot into the same mythology as fairies and trolls, every biological female has one. Around 10% of women report reaching orgasm from G-spot stimulation alone. With that being said, some women don’t find touching their G-spot arousing at all, which is totally normal.
6. Watch Your Reflection
Watching yourself get off can be extremely erotic. Spread out in front of a mirror and observe how your body responds as you start rubbing yourself. Note the way your skin flushes, how your muscles move, and the sounds that are made. You’re the star of your own show, all for a captivated audience.
7. Lube it Up
Even if it’s your first time, sex is not meant to hurt. Experiencing pain or physical discomfort during your sexy time is a sign that you don’t have enough lubrication. Pick up a bottle of personal lubricant and use it as needed. If you’re using latex toys or plan to use the same bottle for protected sex, make sure you pick up a water-based lubricant. Once you’re oiled up, you can slide into solo play.
8. Combine multiple types of stimulation
Masturbation is best when it’s a full-body experience. Go beyond your vulva and vagina! Watch ethical porn to fuel your sexual fantasies and occupy your mind. Play with your breasts, pinching your nipples or attaching nipple clamps for hands-free pleasure. Temperature play also provides a myriad of sensations to send you over the edge. Masturbating in warm water or dripping candle wax on your body are both ways to spice up your night.
9. Try New Positions
Most of us have a go-to position, but you never know when you might find a new favorite. If you prefer laying on your back, you can try sitting on the edge of the bed or bath. Additionally, you can change the elevation of your pelvis or thighs by propping yourself up with pillows. Altering your position, especially when you’re pleasuring yourself with sex toys, can change the depth of penetration or make it easier to apply pressure to your clit.
10. Don’t Forget Your Erogenous Zones
Your erogenous zones are the sensitive parts of your body, and touching them is an essential part of foreplay. The most obvious erogenous zones are the breasts, genitals, and buttocks, but they also include the inner thighs, neck, ears, wrists, etc. Even the lightest touch can create a pleasurable sensation, which is why it’s important to take your time and tease these areas before engaging in more intense activities.
11. Try Edging
One way to give yourself the best orgasms of your life is to first deny them. When you edge, you let the sexual tension build until you’re just about to orgasm – then stop. Although this may sound counterproductive, it can actually make your orgasm much more intense when you finally let it happen. Edging can also be integrated into power play during mutual masturbation.
12. Curl Up With Page Porn
If BookTok is any indication, plenty of women like to read their porn in favor of watching it. After all, amateur acting just can’t encapsulate the raw passion of a dominant fae prince claiming you as his own. Pick up your favorite sexy book, grab a vibrator, and go to town. Personally, I’m a fan of all of the Nesta and Cassian scenes in A Court of Silver Flames.
13. Find the Right Sex Toy
The more tools in your toolbox, the better! The same is true for sex toys. For newcomers, I suggest investing in a dildo and vibrator to get started. Dildos provide deeper vaginal penetration than your fingers, and they come in a variety of shapes and sizes. As a rule of thumb, it’s better to go smaller and work your way up, so buying a 6-inch dildo as your first toy is preferred to a 10-inch version. If you want to save money, a compact bullet vibrator is a great option for a cheap first toy, but I personally suggest putting more money down for a rabbit vibrator. Rabbit vibrators will stimulate your clit and vaginal walls, and they’re a fan favorite!
14. Engage In Anal Play
Another way to amp up your masturbation is with some backdoor fun. To begin, lubricate the area and gently finger the entrance before working in a finger. Much like vaginal penetration, don’t force more pressure or fingers than feels natural. The tissue of the anus is more fragile, so take extra caution. I also suggest buying a few sex toys to add to your fun, like anal beads or a butt plug. Just keep in mind that anything you insert needs a flared base – otherwise, you may end up with an embarrassing story for the ER.
15. Listen to Audio Erotica
Most of us are familiar with the hunky pizza delivery boy and the “oh no what are you doing step-brother” porn classics, but for some reason, they just fall flat. One of the reasons could be that most porn is geared toward men – and that you can barely hear the man over the trumped-up moans and pleas of the actress (no shade to her – get that bag). With audio porn, you can hear the man exclusively, and much of the content is categorized by kinks and fantasy scenarios. For example, Quinn provides audio porn by voice actors and celebrities alike, weaving in praise kinks and naughty scenarios all the while.
16. Consult a Sex Therapist
Finally, if you want more help with masturbation and your sex life, consider scheduling an appointment with a certified sex therapist. Sex therapists help you understand the mental and emotional complexities that surround sex. If you have difficulty masturbating or being intimate with others, it may not be a physical problem, but a mental block that is holding you back. A sex therapist will help you explore your relationship with sex and sexuality in a safe, judgment-free setting.
Supe Up Your Solo Play
When it comes to masturbation, the power is all in your hands. Whether you break out the toys or do things the old-fashioned way, Romantic Adventures has all the tools you need to give yourself the night of your life. Enjoy the ride!